West

I went and saw Twilight this weekend and one of the things that caught my attention was the scenery. Yes, I love the story, but for me the scenery of a film is just as important as the plot.

The story is set in the town of Forks, Washington, a dewy rain-covered location that always looks misty and wet. As much as I want to be apart of a story like that, I also want to visit where that movie is filmed. It looks cozy and comforting, and full of down-home people.

But really it makes me think about some bigger ideas that I have. I have always wanted to travel. Who am I kidding, I wish I could just move. There are so many days that I wish I could just go, just disappear into thin air and travel everywhere. Leave everyone behind and never get another phone call as Heather Eubank. I could be someone else and star completely over. I could finally be Jane, finally turn into a whole new person. I could finally hide from my life and exist as a new person. Never having to return to Indiana until I was ready to.

I think that it would be wonderful to just get in my car and head west until I am tired of driving. In my fantasy trip I get all the way to the ocean and then just mill around out west. I could become a new person, maybe get a job in a diner, a bed and breakfast, or small coffee shop. I could rent an apartment in a small town that no one has ever heard of, fall in love with some boy, and keep my identity hidden forever.

I think in a former life I lived out west. I was apart of Haite-Ashbury, I rode a donkey to the bottom of the Grand Canyon, and I lived in a cabin in Yellowstone. I kissed someone at the top of the space needle in Seattle, and I went hiking in the wilderness of Oregon. I have dangled my toes in Salt Lake, I have lived on a ranch in Montana seaching the horizon for my cowboy, and I've died out west. My soul is out West.

But I've never been west of the arch in St. Louis.

Swords & Shields

I have noticed that tolerance might be the most difficult thing for anyone to actually have. We all talk a big game, but when it comes right down to it and we are faced with someone different, we can't hack it.

For example, recently I was sitting in my classroom when an individual, an eighth grader, walked in wearing a--let's say--unusual outfit. Now, first off, this kid was brave. Walking into a high school classroom wearing something outrageous takes guts, and he had them. No one said a word until he was out the door, but as soon as he was a roar of laughter filled the room.

I'll admit I smiled in spite of myself, but after he left I wondered if I would ever have been as brave? Would I have ever had the guts to walk into a situation where I knew people would make fun of me and still keep my head up? Honestly, I doubt it. And the people in my room would not have had the guts either.

Which brings me back to my point: why are we so quick to point out everyone's flaws when not one of us would want the same done to us? I imagine that we all are carrying swords and shields everywhere, protecting and attacking at every turn we can. Where does that come from? And furthermore, what's the point? Why does everyone need both?

If as a society we could choose to lay down our swords, then no longer would we need the shields. We could be a vulnerable people without fear. If we laid down our shields I think there would be more blood.

It's a shame no matter.

If I had an extra hour...

Today I discovered that given more time, I am worthless. Today marks "fall back" where we get another hour on the clock, and you know what I did? I graded papers, cleaned house, and little else. How often does that happen? Once a year--and today I blew it. Well, I guess I blew it. I mean, what should I do with an extra hour? I guess it all depends on what type of person you are.

What did you do with your extra hour?

A Lie

I don't know that I am really this cool. That I am the type of person who can blog who will have anything really to say. But, I also see this as a challenge to write again. See, I am in a rut right now, in my life, in my head, and perhaps blogging will get it all out. Plus it might just get those creative juices flowing and allow me to start workin' on that novel. Seriously, I do have a story in my head about lying, and just how many lies one person can uncover and endure. Can life "go back" the way it was after some awful thing is uncovered? Should it? I am not sure, which is why I haven't begun writing. I think my problem will be that I will fall a little in love with my characters and want to give them the happy ending--but maybe they don't deserve it. Which is part of why I can't begin it.

So I guess the cosmic question I am sending out into the universe is:

When a lie is uncovered, what's next?